(2015)
directed by Arnaud Desplechin
“My Golden Days” adds layers of complexity to the coming of age story. Coming of age stories deal with identity and the way in which identity arises. They recall the events that have shaped us and that have made us who we are. “My Golden Days” helps us understand that there are really two parts to the coming of age story. First, there are the events that shape us. These events pass by quickly and then become memories. Second, these memories continue to send out ripples that influence our lives.
Paul Dedalus, played as an adult by Mathieu Amalric, tells us that he recalls his past in fragments. There are three important memories that Paul says he can recall at a moment’s notice. Paul tells us that he remembers nothing but these three “fragments” with absolute clarity. “My Golden Days” presents these particular memories as three chapters entitled Childhood, Russia, and Esther.
The first of Paul’s memories is of his childhood. There is a startling scene where Paul violently confronts his mentally ill mother, decides that nothing can be done to improve his situation at home, and decides on his own to move and live with his great-aunt, Rose. This episode shows us Paul’s youthful independence and his determination to solve problems on his own.
The second of Paul’s memories is of Russia. Paul faces the consequences of an episode from his past when there is a problem concerning his passport at the airport. When he was a teenager on a school trip to Minsk, he gave away his passport to help a Jewish dissident get out of the country. He reported his passport as stolen. Now there is someone with the same name as Paul living in Australia. The issue of two people with the same name has come to the attention of the authorities. This part of Paul’s story reminds us that each of us has an exterior “official” identity in addition to our interior “personal” identity.
The third of Paul’s memories is of his love affair with the enchantingly beautiful Esther. Paul, played at this stage of his life by Quentin Dolmaire, is an anthropology student living on his own in Paris. During a visit to his childhood home, he is on his way to meet his sister and some friends when he sees Esther (Lou Roy-Lecollinet) sitting on a bench. As Paul walks towards Esther, there is a gust of wind and fallen leaves begin swirling around him. Paul sits down next to Esther and they engage in a flirtatious conversation.
Paul is independent and hard working. He is focused on his studies and his future career. Because Paul is studying in Paris, his relationship with Esther is necessarily an on again off again affair because he can return to his hometown where Esther lives only on holidays. Esther and Paul write touching letters to one another, but Paul’s absence weighs heavily on Esther. Paul is the center of Esther’s life. Despairing, she says, “I don’t know how to live!” Paul, also in difficult emotional straits, says, “I feel nothing.” Neither of them is being entirely truthful, although Esther is certainly being more truthful than Paul is. Esther begins dating one of Paul’s friends. When Paul finds out he is devastated.
“My Golden Days” is the story of a solitary man who loses the one great love of his life because he is distracted by work and cannot give his partner the attention she needs. Paul pursues his professional goals and is successful. Success can never compensate for the loss of Esther, however. Her memory matters more than all the other memories. Ultimately, it is the women in Paul’s life, his mother, his great-aunt, his beloved professor, and, most important of all, Esther, who give meaning to Paul’s life.
Paul is a tough minded intellectual who accepts the facts of his past and sees himself as the relatively clear sighted captain of his own ship. He does not seek to assign blame for the events in his life. Towards the end of the film, there is a gust of wind and the papers in Paul’s hands are scattered in all directions. We are reminded of the swirling leaves when Paul first met Esther.
In an epilogue, Paul runs into the man he believes took Esther’s love from him. At first they speak calmly, but when the man asks Paul if he knows how to contact Esther, Paul unleashes an emotional tirade that reveals all the anger and hurt he has carried inside for so many years. “My Golden Days” is an extraordinarily intelligent movie that refines our understanding of the coming of age experience.